It's been awhile since I've been prompted to write. But it makes sense, since I've gone into a type of February-esque end-of-winter hibernation. So much has been on my mind with the kidney episode and the resulting hospital bills that I felt something had to change. I suppose it's the state of our Healthcare here in the U.S. and hope I don't offend anyone, but frankly, it needs help. Because even though I have health insurance, and they have done their part in making it somewhat reasonable, it's still astronomical. And nowhere in the process was I told how to prevent the episode again. So, mindful that the responsibility of my health care ultimately lies with me, I somehow landed in a cleanse and...Warning: about to get graphic, leave now if bodily things make you squeamish....colon hydrotherapy. And from there am finally ready for a transition--easing into a healthier, mostly raw food lifestyle, which frankly I have missed, but because of my addiction to food (yes, I am one of those people) have not been able to manage.
Also, because organic raw foods seem cost prohibitive. But reflecting on my past raw food experience, I actually ate less because my body was more nourished, cravings disappeared (woohoo!), and just wasn't as hungry as long as I made sure to eat regularly. Which, with my usual Standard American Diet habits, I tend to graze all day. And usually sugar is involved. In great quantities. Eating a highly processed diet, I never seem to be giving my body the nourishment it craves. So by taking that kind of care now, I'm hoping to save in preventative health care down the road, because as recent hospital bills attest, it's too outrageously expensive to afford long term.
The nice thing about this cleanse is that it is supervised; I'm working with a homeopathic practitioner who advises and provides me with nutritional support, as well as guidelines (and holding me accountable). Because of her, I have been remarkably detox free--other than occasional tiredness/testiness, which is astonishing because in previous cleanses I endured high levels of detox symptoms (body releasing stored toxins) like headaches, skin outbreaks, etc. Thanks to my practitioner, the only symptoms are emotional; the effects of emotional withdrawal basically, from leaving a food addiction. Having the herbal supports are a lifesaver, because even though I don't currently work out of the home, as a single mom I have my children and our home and the day-to-day management and caretaking to tend to
So 10 days in, with still more to go, I have some idea of where I will land, but will post about the results when in maintenance mode. Because for the first time in a long time I'm motivated again. And hopeful and inspired, and can picture finding quality work before long as necessity requires, and finally feeling confident that I can actually do it. I'm also feeling happier in my body again, a feeling I've missed since my raw food days. I feel stronger, healthier, more peaceful, and more clear. And clarity I have missed most. Underlying it all, there's an excitement brewing, that I'm getting back into the game of life.
Now, one of my sticky wickets is...exercise. Unlike my Ironman girlfriend from Massachusetts who astounds me with her discipline, and my ex who LOVED to go to the gym (probably to get away from me), I prefer a more
I'm excited to share this process with you; including photos (silly people, that's not actually me in the top photo), because the changes--inner as well as outer--are monumental. Oddly, the inner ones--feeling joyful and happy with whatever part of me I get to bring to life--are exciting me as much as the outer, more obvious ones.
Dare I say it? I'm a having a blast partying with myself. Come mealtime, I don't mind not eating the food my kids are eating, but drive them crazy by smelling it (the addiction part). Hopefully with time that will no longer be an issue. And don't tell them, but I'm hoping they will feel more like picking up some veggies and fruits themselves as this process continues. Healthy mom, healthy kids, who could ask for more?
Meanwhile, I look forward to the day when this fasting/cleansing stage is done and I can dine on green smoothies, salads, and fresh whole foods! I'm already salivating over a raw food pea casserole which another dear friend shared years ago (maybe she'll let me share the recipe with you) and is to-die-for (it has mushrooms, people!). And that's what I'm craving; fresh, crisp, savory flavors of whole foods again, instead of needing to medicate with old sugar/caffeine comforts.
It makes a body smile.
Lorna, I am in awe of you being able to do this. Be very proud of yourself! Raw and green...wow. You really are dedicated to this new path, and I hope that it brings you the health of mind, body and spirit that you are seeking. I'm rooting for you for the long haul!
ReplyDeleteLinda, thank you so much your encouragement and support! We will see how it goes; I've learned not to force things because they only backfire eventually, but this feels different, like my body is leading the way, hungry for a new way of being. Hugs :)
ReplyDeleteGood for you! This is so inspiring to read about. I'm excited for what you're starting to feel, and really looking forward to hearing how this journey continues for you.l
ReplyDeleteOh, my... you are a much, much better woman than I am!
ReplyDelete"I'm motivated again. And hopeful and inspired, and can picture finding quality work before long as necessity requires, and finally feeling confident that I can actually do it."
ReplyDeleteOh, Lorna, this is such a joy to read. What is it that finally something clicks and we are onto another plain? And then wonder why it took so long.
I have friend who is a raw vegan (is that correct?) She is most healthy and motivated. I don't think I could do it. Once a month a Wendy's hamburger provides the comfort I require. As I read your post, I know how that must set me back.
I wish you the best in this new venture and you had better keep us apprised!
Hello Lorna,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for visiting me at Fred and Ethel and commenting on my Henrietta Lacks post. The first thing I noticed and LOVED about your blog was the CAT - I've never seen my Spooky drenched like that, but if she were, she would look EXACTLY the same! And none too happy!
I, too, am a food addict, but I'm not sure I could do this raw food thing. I guess it takes something drastic...I got very sick once and ate nothing but chicken noodle soup and crackers for five months. Now I can't stand the thought of chicken noodle soup!
I think I may be back...this is quite an interesting site!
Linda Lou: Now, you know I think you are a way better woman than me in so many ways--the courage to be yourself and write your book and do stand-up!
ReplyDeleteJulie: Oh that Wendy's comfort food brings me back to the last two years of my marriage; I spent both anniversaries at the park, drowning my sorrows in Wendy's...ah, good times.
Ethelmae: I loved your blog post and the writing...so good. I wish this was my cat, I had one exactly like it once, so this is my tribute to him. I'm a food addict too, but recent health issues are making me take action. I've been in my comfort zone too long lol. Best!