Wimpy's Half-Ass Acres Winter Wonderland

Not only has Mother Nature kept herself busy depositing white stuff all over our mountains, but she also deposited it all over my farm. The FarmVille farm, just to be clear.


Speaking of suburban farms, there is a ranch by my daughter's school called Wimpy's Half-Ass Acres. The first time we drove past it I cackled in disbelief. After all, this is VERY Mormon Utah--our neck of the woods is actually nicknamed Happy Valley. Mormons don't like to swear (well of course they do, they just don't like you to notice) so they come up with words like 'fetch' and 'oh my heck', and 'H-E double hockey sticks'. For a more complete list, see
http://pa-in.facebook.com/group.php?gid=41212866692

Now mind you, all using these words does is highlight them in flashing neon pink in my head, where my brain likes to entertain itself by substituting the real word for the fake ones it just heard. So imagine my delight when we stumbled across Wimpy's Half-Ass Acres on that random ride across town.

Maybe that's what I'll name my FarmVille farm, just for heck's sake.
Welcome to Lorna's Half-Ass Acres.

Has a nice albeit weird ring to it.

Harvesting Addiction

I've been very productive lately. Oh yes I have.

Have you found a job yet?

No, but...

So have you winterized the van yet?
No, but...

Well, have you taken the kids to the dentist yet for their yearly cleaning?

Not yet, but...I achieved level 24 on Facebook FarmVille!!!

There may be an addiction afoot here. Are there 12 steps for cyber-farmers? Is there a drug on the market yet that can slow the effects of brain melt? Can something so creative, so fun and beautiful, be harmful? (depends on who you ask; even my teens are a contemplating an intervention).

Hint: you can level up faster and make more coin by setting up phantom accounts where you stock up on gifts and experience points by weeding neighbor's crops and chasing off pesky raccoons.

You're welcome.

Oh God, forgive me, it's the sickness talking.

Apparently I'm not alone and the stakes are higher than we thought:
http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/techtonicshifts/archive/2009/11/06/is-facebook-a-paradise-for-scammers.aspx?GT1=43002
Used to be you could pack on the pounds reading racy novels and snarfing chocolate, or licking doughnut crumbs off your fingers in front of your flat screen TV, but now you can do the same thing in front of a computer screen, all hours of the day (or night, and believe me, I've done both).

But I'm in no mood to stop either one yet (farming or eating). It's DEFINITELY building a sense of confidence, an artistic accomplishment combined with good business sense (it takes skill to amass the coins and experience, not to mention master the levels) and a budding inclination towards agriculture. No, really.

Who knew?

My parents still don't.