Scarier Than A Halloween Night

It...finally...happened.

The dreaded first day of the kids going back to school.

Relief at surviving their exodus couples with pangs of missing them and the winds of change that always blow this time of year.

I was lucky; not everyone gets to spend their summer with their kids without leaving for work every day, and for that I am deeply grateful but now it's back to looking-for-a-new career season.

And it's scarier than Halloween.

But, it's also kind of exhilarating in a roller-coaster way, and maybe after I get past the cold-sweats aspect of it, it'll actually be fun.

Let's hope. Then maybe I can find some...

To Think Or Not To Think

Martha Beck said something in her latest newsletter that resonated like a sitar in my heartstrings; to paraphrase, she said that while the market these days may not be so hot for finding a job, it is ripe for coming into your own creative field, being the best you.

And I'm all, so what is it I really want to do?! (still haven't leaped that hurdle yet. Fear of commitment? Fear of failure? Sheer slothfulness? God only knows...I seem to have a penchant for throwing obstacles in my path) and then I remembered this excerpt from a Q&A dialogue with Adyashanti about the loss of personal motivation and how one knows what to do:

"So let yourself feel, not just in your head, but feel your experience. "I can't know here, I can't know for sure because assuredness is what's in the mind." It's not going to happen. You're past that place. When you face that you can feel your body relax when you come into what's true for you. You're not fighting what's true for you. Then you'll feel the lean, soft, quiet; that's all. You'll get the feel."
"This is not magic. It's not mysterious. Sit down in a chair or on your couch and don't make a decision when to get up and just feel. And all of sudden it will become obvious. Your body will start to move with the feeling and you'll just be getting up. Try it sometime. It's interesting. Spend a day like that; just feeling, not moving until you feel."

"If your mind is asking you, "is this the right feeling?" you'll never get it. It's like thirst. When you're thirsty, you're thirsty. That's knowledge, that's direct knowing."

"What would you say to somebody if they said, "how do I know when I'm thirsty?" Well, you'll feel the flow of it. But if a mind was involved, the mind might even feel thirsty and the mind would go, "how do I know that that's thirst? How do I know?" But on the inside, in quietness, thirst and reaching for the cup would be just one movement. Thirst and the cup; simple."

So, what if I approached my work decision-making in this way, would I find direction through feeling instead of thinking? Just taking the next step by doing what was in front of me?

A short list of some things i love: writing, creating, counseling ala 'Bob Newhart', photography, nature, landscapes, animals ... and bamboo.
Just saying.

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Credit: photo courtesy of KeanHuiblog website (hey look, there's a tree growing out of my desk!).

Change Is In The Air

I can hardly believe it's a week already since my last foray into blogging world.

It's another rainy spring day, which is quite lovely around here. Things are turning green fast. and new things are cropping up everywhere.

What's new in my life?

Soon to be done with my job of the last two years, and I will be venturing into new arenas. This job is extremely physical and not-so-well paying, but I have loved that it allows me to be with my kids and allows them to go to their old schools, with all their friends from growing up. Plus I've formed some amazing friendships and enjoyed being around kids in general.

Now I'm looking for office work, which is what I used to do before settling into the stay-at-home-mom job field.

Ideally, I'd love to work at home, doing something creative and/or online. Writing, healing work, etc. Also craving nature and sunlight and fresh air, so wouldn't it be fun to incorporate that?

Don't know how to make this work, so at this point am opening to what Life brings me next that aligns with that. I used to say 'God', then 'Higher Self', then 'Universe', and now I say 'Life', that which incorporates the all-encompassing goodness that is out-there-in-here, supporting us little humans on our journey of awakening.

Long-term I am really wanting to be part of a creative/healing community, like the raw foodist trend-setters are creating. Doing what you love with people that you love in an atmosphere that you love, how amazing is that? Now, to figure out just what that is....

And that is what my bubbly thoughts are percolating this beautiful Sunday afternoon in May.



Credit: Photo courtesy of Elizabeth Hansen on the KSL photo gallery website