Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Wimpy's Half-Ass Acres Winter Wonderland

Not only has Mother Nature kept herself busy depositing white stuff all over our mountains, but she also deposited it all over my farm. The FarmVille farm, just to be clear.

Speaking of suburban farms, there is a ranch by my daughter's school called Wimpy's Half-Ass Acres. The first time we drove past it I cackled in disbelief. After all, this is VERY Mormon Utah--our neck of the woods is actually nicknamed Happy Valley. Mormons don't like to swear (well of course they do, they just don't like you to notice) so they come up with words like 'fetch' and 'oh my heck', and 'H-E double hockey sticks'. For a more complete list, see

Now mind you, all using these words does is highlight them in flashing neon pink in my head, where my brain likes to entertain itself by substituting the real word for the fake ones it just heard. So imagine my delight when we stumbled across Wimpy's Half-Ass Acres on that random ride across town.

Maybe that's what I'll name my FarmVille farm, just for heck's sake.
Welcome to Lorna's Half-Ass Acres.

Has a nice albeit weird ring to it.


  1. You are so funny! Is that a cow sticking out of your snowbank?

  2. Yes, it is! And a calf is watching her (on Farmville the legs actually flail about). And the frog wearing headphones on the pond? He dances (well, wiggles) back and forth. VERY entertaining...

  3. I love it - especially "my heck" what a hoot. I'll be using that one, it will drive my girlfriends crazy. Great post, thanks for the laughs...Happy Holidays!

  4. Julie, I love that 'my heck' will drive your girlfriends crazy! Happy Holidays to you as well :)

  5. I forgot about "my heck". I remember first hearing that thinking, is that like 'oh shit"? What could that mean? Oh, the memories. I also remember those beautiful mountains. The Wasatch Front. And skiing Big and Little Cottonwood Canyons.