And I'm all, so what is it I really want to do?! (still haven't leaped that hurdle yet. Fear of commitment? Fear of failure? Sheer slothfulness? God only knows...I seem to have a penchant for throwing obstacles in my path) and then I remembered this excerpt from a Q&A dialogue with Adyashanti about the loss of personal motivation and how one knows what to do:
"So let yourself feel, not just in your head, but feel your experience. "I can't know here, I can't know for sure because assuredness is what's in the mind." It's not going to happen. You're past that place. When you face that you can feel your body relax when you come into what's true for you. You're not fighting what's true for you. Then you'll feel the lean, soft, quiet; that's all. You'll get the feel."
"This is not magic. It's not mysterious. Sit down in a chair or on your couch and don't make a decision when to get up and just feel. And all of sudden it will become obvious. Your body will start to move with the feeling and you'll just be getting up. Try it sometime. It's interesting. Spend a day like that; just feeling, not moving until you feel."
"If your mind is asking you, "is this the right feeling?" you'll never get it. It's like thirst. When you're thirsty, you're thirsty. That's knowledge, that's direct knowing."
"What would you say to somebody if they said, "how do I know when I'm thirsty?" Well, you'll feel the flow of it. But if a mind was involved, the mind might even feel thirsty and the mind would go, "how do I know that that's thirst? How do I know?" But on the inside, in quietness, thirst and reaching for the cup would be just one movement. Thirst and the cup; simple."
So, what if I approached my work decision-making in this way, would I find direction through feeling instead of thinking? Just taking the next step by doing what was in front of me?
A short list of some things i love: writing, creating, counseling ala 'Bob Newhart', photography, nature, landscapes, animals ... and bamboo.
Credit: photo courtesy of KeanHuiblog website (hey look, there's a tree growing out of my desk!).