Happy?

Yes, that's right folks, the clouds are below the snow-peaked mountains. We had a bit of weather last night. What can I say, this is Utah. Breathtakingly beautiful, but weird. A little like our new ranking as 'happiest State' in the latest American poll.

Really, pollsters? I'm still coming to terms with the fact that for years, we Utahns have "Lead the nation in anti-depressant use, mental health problems related to depression, and the highest teen suicide rate." In a five year period, we had two teens die from overdoses just in my really nice (and conservative/religious) last neighborhood, and am aware of others who struggle with serious drug addictions, such as heroin. (Read more at: http://mormonism.suite101.com/article.cfm/utahs_high_antideprresant_usage).

Your poll also cited tolerance as another criteria for winning the happy status. Uh, hello, pollsters? When I worked at a local elementary school, one of my co-workers would periodically come in upset about young men she knew in her nearby neighborhood who killed themselves because their conservative, religious parents couldn't 'tolerate' their being gay.

Does living in Happyville entail being delusional?

Someone please explain it to me. And then tell me all the reasons why your state should top the list. You could very well be right.

Meanwhile, I'll console myself with the natural beauty we Utahns get to enjoy. That always makes me happy.

Just In Time For The Holidays...

Just for fun and to get you in the holiday spirit, here's a give-away for some really pretty ceramic and sterling silver earrings on a friendly blog:

http://vintagebluestudio.typepad.com/vintage_blue_studio/2009/11/ceramic-earring-giveaway.html
Now if you'll excuse me, I have some squash to harvest and goats to milk...

Harvesting Addiction

I've been very productive lately. Oh yes I have.

Have you found a job yet?

No, but...

So have you winterized the van yet?
No, but...

Well, have you taken the kids to the dentist yet for their yearly cleaning?

Not yet, but...I achieved level 24 on Facebook FarmVille!!!

There may be an addiction afoot here. Are there 12 steps for cyber-farmers? Is there a drug on the market yet that can slow the effects of brain melt? Can something so creative, so fun and beautiful, be harmful? (depends on who you ask; even my teens are a contemplating an intervention).

Hint: you can level up faster and make more coin by setting up phantom accounts where you stock up on gifts and experience points by weeding neighbor's crops and chasing off pesky raccoons.

You're welcome.

Oh God, forgive me, it's the sickness talking.

Apparently I'm not alone and the stakes are higher than we thought:
http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/techtonicshifts/archive/2009/11/06/is-facebook-a-paradise-for-scammers.aspx?GT1=43002
Used to be you could pack on the pounds reading racy novels and snarfing chocolate, or licking doughnut crumbs off your fingers in front of your flat screen TV, but now you can do the same thing in front of a computer screen, all hours of the day (or night, and believe me, I've done both).

But I'm in no mood to stop either one yet (farming or eating). It's DEFINITELY building a sense of confidence, an artistic accomplishment combined with good business sense (it takes skill to amass the coins and experience, not to mention master the levels) and a budding inclination towards agriculture. No, really.

Who knew?

My parents still don't.

Blessed Samhain (or Happy Halloween)

I love how we follow Christmas and Easter and such that have origins in the ancient celebrations. So too with Halloween. I LOVE FALL!!!

I'll be handing out trick-or-treat goodies as an environmentally friendly 'green' Witch this Halloween....where's a cool cat when you need one?

So, in that spirit, enjoy the night and the beginning of a new year, leaving the old behind as the leaves fall. Here's a toast to storing up good things for the coming winter, and laying the groundwork for a fruitful spring, where all good things burst forth in abundance.

Taking time to enjoy nature's bounty, today and always.

Blessed be!

Of Phoenixs and Ostriches

I'm more than a little tired of sticking my head in the proverbial sand while life marches gaily on even as I cower in fear of getting a job. (a job? what job? what's the perfect job? what are my talents? how can I contribute to society and pay my bills and be there for the kids....
blah blah blah). Too much hysterical panic.
Not to mention leaving the butt sticking quite vulnerably just out-there.

The rational part of me gets that it's time to make like a phoenix and rise from the ashes of midlife, leave the stay at home mom career behind to start over--uncomfortably like a teenager, only not as energized, youthful or pimply. Which except for the acne, sucks the fun right out of it.

Can I just please drop the stories and move on?
It appears the only one holding me back is me.
But how do you get past your very own self?

How do women make this transition without all the angst?

Ostrich image found at http://www.foundbypat.com/2008_08_10_archive.html

What Makes Your Body Smile?

Recently I started exercising again. Over the years I have walked, hiked, snowshoed and danced. I've taken yoga, tai chi and bellydancing classes. But the one I always keep coming back home to, is a little-known 15-minute-a-day aerobic exercise called 'Oxycise'. I can't even remember how I came across it, but one day after we first moved to Utah I found it online, ordered the how-to video and fell in love.

Since starting it up again over a week ago, my stomach is tighter and flatter (a welcome surprise because I was wondering what I was giving birth to), my face is more defined and I am becoming more flexible.

The other benefit I've noticed is more energy and confidence over all, and since beginning I have been doing more and feeling more can-do about life in general. It has lifted me out of the funk-tank I've found myself swimming in since leaving my job last June.

What has freaked the heck out of me is being unable to do the sitting butterfly, a pose I had done with ease before. Middle age? Excessive weight? General out-of-shapeness? Which ever it is, I'm not ready to start heading for the hill just yet, thanks.

So I'm going to keep up with this and slowly move into other things. I really miss the park near our old house, with it's tree-lined walking trails. Miss trekking in snowshoes on the middle school track nearby during winter months. But Oxycise, especially when I keep the sliding glass door to the balcony open for fresh air, is a close-second, and and I don't have to bundle up and drive anywhere to get a workout.

Now how about you? What makes your body/heart/mind smile? What energizes, uplifts and motivates you to keep on going?

Love and Creativity

For me, nothing opens the heart more than a baby, the creative seed of life and innocence. Blessed are those caregivers who get to be with them, struggle with them, love them, and let them go if life demands it. This video is a heartwarming and life-affirming example of one family's experience. This couple wrote letters to their son Eliot, even before his birth. These letters helped them heal through his illness. Their story has the power to help us heal as well, from the complexities of life.

Writing truly brings many gifts. Julia Cameron gave us the Artist's Way, and I'm of a mind that all creative acts--writing, drawing, birthing, gardening etc.--expand the soul. My flowering of creativity blossomed like an Outback Steakhouse fried onion while raising my babies. I wrote extensively, planted a rose garden with blooms the size of an outstretched hand out of Arizona caliche; learned jazz dance, baked and cooked from scratch (a rarity these days), sewed intricate costumes and holiday-wear for the kids, decorated our home which involved, among other things, painting the walls and banisters (not recommended, the banisters anyway), sewing curtains, cross-stitching, and making 'baby books' for the kids which involved stories and photos and memorabilia.

Obstacles I overcame to satisfy the creative muse included having an early miscarriage, a baby who refused to nurse, hacking through caliche to dig holes for the rose bushes that averaged three hours per bush (so that's where the carpal tunnel came from!), teaching myself to cross-stitch and paint via trial by error; to staying up far too late into the night to write while the family slept, and eventually from all that handiwork, carpal tunnel surgery. But I am grateful for each obstacle because each process taught me something.

In expanding our hearts and souls, I hope we are fortunate enough to find what sets us on fire and what heals us, and then share it with the world.

It could use us.