A New Earth

Happy Earth Day everyone. It feels like a day of celebration, so I'm putting aside the blog I've been writing to post something a little more, well, earthy.

A few years ago I was blown away by Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth. I had been listening to his CD's for awhile, but must have been ready for the messages in the book because it was one of those defining moments where life around me changed dramatically. Literally; there was lots of flailing about looking for a way to take the next tour bus to Timbuktu because I wanted off of the one I was riding. I liked the way things were just fine, thank you...but of course that's not how it all played out.

If you look around, change is in the air for many of us, and not just on the nightly news. I see it in your blogs, and with my silence you can bet that I'm knee deep in it as well. My changes are not as exciting as fellow blogger Linda Lou  who is leaving her life in Las Vegas heading east (roadtripping with her sister!) for an undetermined while to be with family, or fellow blogger Heather  who left the country entirely to raise her kids in a beautiful part of Guatemala, or even my raw food mentors Matt and Angela who settled down in Vilcabamba (don't you just love the way that rolls off the tongue?) Ecuador to build a home and rural life.

No, my change is much more boring, haircut aside. Still, things are shaking up (and not just our old Maytag washer which gave up the ghost in a dramatic fanfare of shaking and screeching, nor the 4.9 earthquake that rumbled our sleepy western state). What's fascinating is that change can be viewed as hostile--and finding yourself mired in fear; or supportive and friendly--and embraced with love and acceptance. I tend to waffle between the two perspectives, hence my experience of the changing reality does too. As a recovering hermit, change in my life usually involves a lot of kicking and screaming only to get there and look back wondering what the heck was I smoking, and feeling grateful for the new (and usually improved) scenery.

As you know, I've been blogging shamelessly about Geneen Roth's new book, Women, Food and God. Because of her insights, I'm re-discovering Eckhart Tolle's Power of Now as if I'd never read it before. It's resonating so deeply I'm left wondering where I was when I read it before (probably in a self-imposed hell). Insight after insight takes me into parts I hadn't seen before. It's like what my old church leaders used to say about scripture reading--that every time you read them again, you see them with new eyes (only without the brainwashing; more like a brain cleansing, or purging, of beliefs).

I get so excited about Eckhart's passages that I can't sit still. Which kind of defeats the purpose of what he talks about, because stillness is a big part of the inner discovery. Still, I'm finding that it's a process, this practice of evolving as a human, being. And because of Geneen's emphasis on kindness, I understand that the perceived "delay" really is okay; just something to notice. Then too this new spring energy is so invigorating it's hard to sit still when you want to bounce around outside waving your arms like a drunken kangaroo.

In the Power of Now Eckhart shares his insights about spirituality without taking himself too seriously--a major turn-on. He's no Jon Stewart, but he's humbly funny, which is perfect because I can no longer listen to folks who take themselves too seriously; it either cracks me up or tunes me out. So his teachings are a lovely breath of fresh air, leaving me ecstatic to practice what he teaches.



All of which bring me back to the creation of a New Earth, which we are all somehow building, consciously or unconsciously. And there is so much to celebrate, the hope of us getting it, getting that we are all vital parts of a global family and this wondrous planet our home. And as she changes (shifts) so do we.

Yes, change is scary and we can run and hide (my initial hermit-crabby instinct) or jump around outside like a kangaroo excited about the possibilities...I don't know about you, but I'm outgrowing my shell.

Give Yourself That Much

While sipping my morning 'joe' of kale/mango/banana/coconut/lucama (wtf?) green smoothie, my heart is leaping and soaring all at once. Nearing the end of Geneen Roth's newest book (the first of which I've read even though I've devoured her column in Good Housekeeping which my mailman drops by, faithfully), is filling a part of me I haven't touched in a long, long while and it's dangerously close to overflowing.

Now one of my all-time favorite books related to understanding and overcoming food issues, Women, Food, and God by Geneen holds its place beside Martha Beck's The Four Day Win. Both are down-to-earth mind-blowing and both touch the deepest parts of ourselves.

Both explain how the mind works, the power it wields, and since we can't live without it, how to get along with it. Not only does this inspire a heart-thumping sense of loving kindness, it also brings its own measure of  peace. So much of it brings me to that place inside I've touched briefly once during a Byron Katie retreat. A place so spacious, so loving, so everything...I've never gotten over it. And makes me want to leap and soar, again, only this time perhaps, with you. Bon Apetit.

Ask yourself what you love. Without fear of consequences, without force of shame or guilt. What motivates you to be kind, to take care of your body, your spirit, others, the earth? Trust the longing, trust the love that can be translated into action without the threat of punishment. Trust that you will not destroy what matters most. Give yourself that much. ~ Geneen Roth

Holy Coconuts

Did you know in 2007 coconuts were banned from the US? Read article here because we almost lost pineapples too. Thanks, USDA.

No joke, here's the scoop on why you might want to include some in your diet: "Coconut water kefir is a relatively new kefir form, due largely to the popularity and education about coconut water's health benefits in recent years in the United States. I find it to be the best source for patients seeking to address the spectrum of digestive issues - flatulence, bloating, bacterial overgrowth, Candida, insufficient beneficial bacteria -- as well as skin problems and the challenges of sweet cravings that often accompany the digestive issues noted. Why? Coconut water provides nature's perfect hydration cocktail - water, electrolytes - including one of the richest sources of potassium which provides intracellular hydration (takes water "into" the cells) and supports muscle and nerve cells. And as a non-dairy source, coconut water does not create mucus (which can trap bad bacteria) and is virtually non-allergenic (because it contains no protein). Coconut water kefir should come in a glass bottle and be consumed within four to five days of opening as exposure to oxygen can ruin the beverage." Read entire article

Wow, so as it turns out not only was my body trying to tell me I needed coconuts for the electrolytes, but for the potassium as well (previous post)! I'm beginning to have a healthy respect for my body's innate intelligence and not just my mind's idea of what it thinks it knows.

Heh heh folks, just couldn't resist the opening article joke, turns out April Fool's Day is my favorite holiday of the year, and the article completely cracks me up. Almost as much as Avalanches's 'Frontier Psychiatrist', "You're a nut! Crazier'n a coconut!" although it will be awhile before I can get the song out of my head, except when I remember that it replaced my mind's endless loop of Beyonce's 'All The Single Ladies'(thanks ever so much, Alvin and the Chipmunks...NOT)--so THANK YOU Avalanches!



Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates it, and THANK YOU to Deb Shucka, for the blog title (and you know why...)

What Are You Hungry For?

To those of you who have been wondering, I am off The Cleanse as of a week ago Thursday, after spending a fun-filled night at the ER--again--when my cleanse supervisor told me to hie myself there, pronto. I'd called her to say I couldn't sleep because my heart kept pounding erratically and my hands were not only seizing up and going numb, they were endlessly twitching in different directions...and it was distracting. Pretty dense to try to ignore, eh? Um, correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't I doing this cleanse in the first place because I couldn't afford any more ER trips like the one in January? Yes folks, life really is Comedy Central.

As it turns out, I had extremely low potassium and phosphorus levels, which they discovered after some testing, but not before trying to ply me with Zanax because they thought I might be having a panic attack. Well, you'd panic too if your legs and arms took off on their own for no apparent reason. So they hooked me to a heart monitor, and after lounging around until 3:00 a.m. taking potassium and fascinating the kids watching Mom's hands and legs randomly seize up; they let me go home wearing a 24-hour heart monitor for kicks.

Truthfully, I was scared, because although I met up with my doctor a couple of times for lab tests and discussion, and taking potassium/phosphorus; the seizing in my hands and legs turning-into-zombie-limbs (curling and hardening like rigor mortis) and incessant finger twitching didn't cease until this Tuesday.

A chiropractor once told me that in between cleanses, the idea is to build the body back up. I feel good now, heartily supporting my body with green smoothies, raw fruits/veggies/nuts, cooked veggies and baked fish (hopefully not mercury filled) and eggs (cage-free; yay for happy chickens). No processed food, unless Costco hummus is processed...and feeling energized and clear.
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This cleanse taught me some things; about family medical history, about how precious--and fragile--life and one's relationships are, and of course, how important proper nutrition is. I suspect I wasn't drinking enough of the green juices (they are ironically, LOADED with potassium) mainly because by the third week I just couldn't stand the taste and could barely get them down. I also learned how little I exercise, my favorite pastimes recently being: reading, a good show, and the Internets...although by the end was actually exercising diligently and constantly on the move (my body was probably in shock just from that).

I discovered my doctor doesn't endorse long cleanses, saying they can cause electrolyte imbalances, so that and the potassium/phosphorus depletion all added up to cause trouble. To be fair, I didn't run into problems until I dropped from three down to one juice a day and maybe should have mentioned that to my cleanse supervisor. Funny thing is, by the last week, loading a Good Earth basket with organic ingredients, I kept wanting to throw in some young Thai coconuts, and had to keep saying, no, you can't drink that silly, you are cleansing right now. Turns out, coconut water is rich in electrolytes, so maybe it wouldn't hurt to listen to the body more, eh? (please pardon my fascination with this delightful Canadian habit--thank you Vancouver Olympics).

But I still find myself constantly thinking about eating (not as much as during the cleanse, when I bored my entire Facebook family with countless photo albums of...FOOD). You are probably thinking, well, that makes perfect sense, after practically starving yourself for almost a month...but I was getting good nutrients (just not enough of them) and having energy and no headaches, so I wasn't altogether heartless.

I was recently struck (figuratively, of course) by an article written by Geneen Roth in O magazine, Women, Food, And God; which really hit home. Here's an excerpt:

"For a variety of reasons we don't fully understand (genetics, temperament, environment), those of us who are compulsive eaters choose food. Not because of its taste. Not because of its texture or its color. We want quantity, volume, bulk. We need it—a lot of it—to go unconscious. To wipe out what's going on. The unconsciousness is what's important, not the food...When you like something, you pay attention to it. When you like something—love something—you take time with it. You want to be present for every second of the rapture. But overeating does not lead to rapture: It leads to burping and farting and being so sick that you can't think of anything but how full you are. That's not love; that's suffering.

Diets are the result of your belief that you have to atone for being yourself to be worthy of existing. Until the belief is understood and questioned, no amount of weight loss will touch the part of you that is convinced it is damaged. It will make sense to you that hatred leads to love and that torture leads to peace because you will be operating on the conviction that you must starve or deprive or punish the badness out of you. You won't keep extra weight off, because being at your natural weight does not match your convictions about the way life unfolds. But once the belief and the subsequent decisions are questioned, diets and being uncomfortable in your body lose their seductive allure. Only kindness makes sense. Anything else is excruciating. You are not a mistake. You are not a problem to be solved."

And all I can think is, wow. This touches me to the core. And I know overeating isn't good for me, I know this. I've experienced it. And yet...I'm hungry for something, something I think food will give me. Probably because I associate so many good memories and feelings centered around food. Until I go back in time and conjure up those moments when I experienced a truly natural high, a happy so big I never forget:

Sitting alone in a hotel room in Heidelberg, Germany, looking out the open window watching pedestrians walk by below, passing the cathedral next door, and wondering if the bees buzzing in the geraniums in the flower box will come in the room to check me out?


Showering under an open window as a kid living in Florida, the birds carrying on in the trees one spring morning.


Sitting on a Florida beach, looking out over the ocean, listening to the waves being pulled up on the sand, scattering the pipers digging for sandfleas (the pipers, not me, though sandfleas are kinda cute looking crustaceans).


Watching fellow travelers on a shuttle bus heading to the LAX airport after attending Byron Katie's nine-day School For The Work, feeling like my heart was going to burst open.


Waking up laughing, from a dream where Paul Lynde, Cher, and I were swapping jokes while standing in the yard of my house in Florida, when I was all of about ten.

Walking the block after a flight to Germany to visit family, relishing the fresh air and feeling my legs again after sitting for so long on a plane and the three hour drive from Frankfurt to our small Bavarian town.

NONE of those moments involved food or eating. And I am left to discover what it is I'm hungry for. Think I'll start with Geneen's book...so tell us folks; what is it you are hungry for?

When Dinosaurs Roamed...our bodies?

The interesting thing about colon hydrotherapy, is that you get to see stuff you don't ordinarily see. Stuff that will curl your toes. Dr. Oz says 90% of humans carry worms, and turns out I'm one of them. Years ago, I met with a colonic specialist who actually kept jars of various wormy-parasity things in jars for clients to see. Please people, it's bad enough to see your own, why on earth would you want to see some stranger's? It's like living in a pre-historic world where bizarre creatures roam the planet with you, only they're roaming inside you. Although, as Dr. Oz points out, they aren't all bad. Some of them are your friends, like the nice dinosaur in Jurassic Park that sneezed on the little girl. It was a veggie-saurus, not the bad meat-o-saurus kind that wanted to eat your face.

I bring this up not to make you lose your coffee/tea/Margarita, but to say that we might feel better if once in a while we got these things, um, removed (as much as one can, anyway), as I am finding out during this cleanse. The good doctor's article (click his name above to read) goes in great detail about how to avoid parasites, and the symptoms they can cause so you'll know they might be there. Like his article, I have spared you a photo of said critters... because I'm that thoughtful.

Something else I'm discovering as I enter week three of this vegetable juice cleanse (and if I never have to drink something like this again it will be too soon) is that while I constantly think about food, I am not one bit attracted to sweets. This has NEVER happened before, even during other various juice fasting I've done over the years. Normally I eat sugar constantly, even to the point of, confession: considering a Snickers bar and a Dr. Pepper, lunch. You'd think a forty-something-ish person would know better....but, there you have it. So this is new to me, and in a good way. I'm seriously indulging in fresh greens and vegetable soup fantasies, and can't wait to start the eating part of my life again. It has to taste good or I'm not touching it. It's really the simple ones that appeal to me most...

Slicing open an avocado, sprinkling it with cumin, curry and cayenne, drizzling a fresh lime over it, tossing some chopped cilantro on top, and covering the whole thing with fresh Pica De Gallo.

Arranging some sliced bananas on a plate, sprinkling chopped pecans on top, and drizzling grade B real maple syrup--like Shady Maple Farms (forget Mrs. Butterworth's) over all of it. Energizing and yummy.

Downing a green smoothie favorite of one bunch dandelion greens, one banana, one mango, and adding the 'water' of a young coconut to the mix.

Here's a 'green' smoothie recipe I'm dying to try out because it looks so refreshing:

Orange, Yellow and Green Smoothie
1 bunch spinach
2 oranges (peeled with seeds removed)
¼ lemon with peel (seeds removed)
4 dates (with pits removed)
2 frozen bananas
2 cups water
¼ teaspoon nutmeg

Blend and drink! Thanks to the Boutenko family for this one. (For more recipes click on their name).

Since I can't eat yet, guess I'll go watch some dinosaurs roaming Jurassic Park to take my mind off the ones roaming in my intestines. And have you ever wondered...what's roaming in yours?

Julie's Jewelry and Artwork

http://gardenology.blogspot.com

My sweet friend Julie, over at Prarie Thistle is sponsoring a giveaway this month. She runs a fabulous Etsy Shop of beautiful jewelry/artwork collections. Folks, these are truly one of a kind pieces and she has a heart of gold. I discovered her blog last year while Googling the house from Practical Magic, and fell in love and stayed. You might find yourself doing that too.
 

Cleansing Body, Mind, and Spirit

It's been awhile since I've been prompted to write. But it makes sense, since I've gone into a type of February-esque end-of-winter hibernation. So much has been on my mind with the kidney episode and the resulting hospital bills that I felt something had to change. I suppose it's the state of our Healthcare here in the U.S. and hope I don't offend anyone, but frankly, it needs help. Because even though I have health insurance, and they have done their part in making it somewhat reasonable, it's still astronomical. And nowhere in the process was I told how to prevent the episode again.

So, mindful that the responsibility of my health care ultimately lies with me, I somehow landed in a cleanse and...Warning: about to get graphic, leave now if bodily things make you squeamish....colon hydrotherapy. And from there am finally ready for a transition--easing into a healthier, mostly raw food lifestyle, which frankly I have missed, but because of my addiction to food (yes, I am one of those people) have not been able to manage.

Also, because organic raw foods seem cost prohibitive. But reflecting on my past raw food experience, I actually ate less because my body was more nourished, cravings disappeared (woohoo!), and just wasn't as hungry as long as I made sure to eat regularly. Which, with my usual Standard American Diet habits, I tend to graze all day. And usually sugar is involved. In great quantities. Eating a highly processed diet, I never seem to be giving my body the nourishment it craves. So by taking that kind of care now, I'm hoping to save in preventative health care down the road, because as recent hospital bills attest, it's too outrageously expensive to afford long term.

The nice thing about this cleanse is that it is supervised; I'm working with a homeopathic practitioner who advises and provides me with nutritional support, as well as guidelines (and holding me accountable). Because of her, I have been remarkably detox  free--other than occasional tiredness/testiness, which is astonishing because in previous cleanses I endured high levels of detox symptoms (body releasing stored toxins) like headaches, skin outbreaks, etc. Thanks to my practitioner, the only symptoms are emotional; the effects of emotional withdrawal basically, from leaving a food addiction. Having the herbal supports are a lifesaver, because even though I don't currently work out of the home, as a single mom I have my children and our home and the day-to-day management and caretaking to tend to not to mention my farm(Ville)...

So 10 days in, with still more to go, I have some idea of where I will land, but will post about the results when in maintenance mode. Because for the first time in a long time I'm motivated again. And hopeful and inspired, and can picture finding quality work before long as necessity requires, and finally feeling confident that I can actually do it. I'm also feeling happier in my body again, a feeling I've missed since my raw food days. I feel stronger, healthier, more peaceful, and more clear. And clarity I have missed most. Underlying it all, there's an excitement brewing, that I'm getting back into the game of life.

Now, one of my sticky wickets is...exercise. Unlike my Ironman girlfriend from Massachusetts who astounds me with her discipline, and my ex who LOVED to go to the gym (probably to get away from me), I prefer a more lazy laid-back approach. I loved taking Tai Chi, bellydance, and yoga classes. But my favorite standbys (since I am more bookworm-ish than athletic) are yoga and Oxycise, in the comfort of my home (maybe I'm just comfort addicted). Since I also love hiking (and snowshoeing) hopefully I'll be healthy enough to climb a few local mountains--one of the more wonderful byproducts of living in Utah--by summer.

I'm excited to share this process with you; including photos (silly people, that's not actually me in the top photo), because the changes--inner as well as outer--are monumental. Oddly, the inner ones--feeling joyful and happy with whatever part of me I get to bring to life--are exciting me as much as the outer, more obvious ones.

Dare I say it? I'm a having a blast partying with myself. Come mealtime, I don't mind not eating the food my kids are eating, but drive them crazy by smelling it (the addiction part). Hopefully with time that will no longer be an issue. And don't tell them, but I'm hoping they will feel more like picking up some veggies and fruits themselves as this process continues. Healthy mom, healthy kids, who could ask for more?

Meanwhile, I look forward to the day when this fasting/cleansing stage is done and I can dine on green smoothies, salads, and fresh whole foods! I'm already salivating over a raw food pea casserole which another dear friend shared years ago (maybe she'll let me share the recipe with you) and is to-die-for (it has mushrooms, people!). And that's what I'm craving; fresh, crisp, savory flavors of whole foods again, instead of needing to medicate with old sugar/caffeine comforts.

It makes a body smile.